Finding June Read online

  “You don’t,” I heard behind me. I turned around to see Reece standing there. Apparently my thoughts were being said out loud. I wondered how long he had been behind me.

  “Yes, mountains have many years to reach those heights. But what about the streams? The small trickle of water that runs down the mountain and carves away from the mountain’s greatness. Those streams are changing the mountain and forging their own path, finding their own way. They are working their way downward as a small spring creek after a long winter. A stream of clear, cold water, can make as much of an impact as the big mountain. You said mountains take a long time to reach those heights, but the streams, they don’t take as long because they know where they want to go. And if they don’t, they just find a way down, because they know eventually they will be off the mountain, they will eventually find their way.”

  Reece moved toward me as he said this. By the end of his tale, he was only a few inches away. He raised his hand to my cheek, his strong, calloused hands comforting me. His hair fell on his forehead as he leaned forward. His lips were so close, and then he erased the space between us as his lips lightly touched mine. It was a whisper of a kiss, like a ghost. I craved more of his lips with that tease. He slightly lifted his head, but I wouldn’t let him get far. I put my hand behind his neck, gripping his hair and pulling him closer, our lips smashing together. His hand snaked behind my waist, pulling me flush to his chest. There was no space between us as I opened to him, deepening the kiss and matching his force, tumbling into the emotions pouring through every pore in my body. He kissed me like he was the stream finding his way home.

  I gasped as I felt something cold hit my bare shoulder. And then another cold drop, and another. I broke apart from Reece and glanced up into the turbulent sky. It was raining. I looked back at Reece with a wide grin on my face.

  And I laughed.

  I laughed a breezy laugh that released the tension I had been carrying around for months. I took big breaths of laughter as the rain continued to hit my skin. Most people run and hide when it rains, trying to find shelter, but I embraced it. The cold, wet drops made my skin feel vibrant. The rain was taking my tension and the weight I carried and washing it away, giving it to the land to consume and hold.

  Reece grabbed my hand and tried to pull me to the trees to grab shelter, but I held my ground. With an eyebrow raised, his face was telling me he didn’t understand why I didn’t want to move as I watched the rain drench him. I looked at him and shook my head. I wasn’t moving. He gave an airy laugh and stepped closer to me, not letting go of my hand. He pulled me closer and I thought he was going to kiss me again. Instead, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and brought me close to him, laying my head on his chest, covering me the best he could from the cold drops of water. I couldn’t help but think he wanted to cover me from more than just water.

  There we stood; big, fat, cold raindrops falling on our exposed skin. The cold made me feel alive, but his arms wrapped around me gave me a sense of safety. The cold water contrasted from his warm grasp on me, intermingling my feelings of life and comfort. Cold rain and warmth from his arms made me feel complete. I turned my head to the side and looked out as the land took in the rain, letting it soak in the trees, the soil, and the air. I glanced up to see Reece’s eyes soaking me in.

  Maybe I was his rain.

  Maybe I was his warmth.

  I was hoping I was both.

  After another few blissful moments of rain cuddling, I noticed we were starting to shiver. I grabbed Reece’s hand and we made for a big pine tree, its branches giving us shelter from the rain. We threw down our packs and I laid my head down on it, settling in for the short storm and hoping it would pass soon. We both settled in, facing each other under the natural shelter. Reece was close enough to take a hand and swipe a tendril of my drenched hair behind my ear; the movement gave me chills. He leaned forward and put a soft kiss on my forehead. I felt him blow softly on the tiny kiss he had just delivered.

  “What are you doing?” I asked with a small laugh.

  “Making sure it stays,” Reece replied.

  I knew from this moment things had changed. The uneasiness from earlier, the fear of letting Reece in, had subsided. I was still nervous about whatever this was, but I didn’t want to fight him anymore. I didn’t want to fight letting him in because having him there made things easy. I was still fearful about what I wanted to do in my life, but Reece brought a light of clarity I had been missing. I had let him into my life and all the crazy things that went with it. I didn’t know if we were a couple, but Reece had made an impact, had made things a little bit clearer, and that was what I needed right now.

  We cuddled under the tree branches as the storm calmed down, and soon we were hiking down the mountain. The smell of the rain after the storm was strong as we hiked, but it was my favorite smell so I took it in, wishing I could bottle it and take it out any time I needed it. Walking in the forest with Reece behind me was another perfect moment. With Reece I was starting to have a large collection of perfect moments. A short while later we were walking into the cabin, soaked to the bone and ready for a hot shower.

  As I pulled my boots off and stumbled, Reece grabbed me by the arm so I could steady myself. We made eye contact and started to laugh at each other over how drenched we were. I looked over to the table to see four sets of very wide eyes looking at me.

  “What?” I asked.

  Jo put her cup down, and with a shit eating grin said, “Oh nothing. You two have a nice hike?”

  “Yeah, it was great.” Reece smiled at me. I blushed.

  I took off my hat and threw it on the back of the couch. I was freezing and needed to shower. I also knew Reece needed one, too. I looked at him and said, “You can use the shower first.”

  “No, go ahead, you’re shivering,” Reece kindly replied as he motioned to the bathroom.

  I wasn’t one to argue. I shrugged my shoulders and went in. If I was more suave, I would have said something smooth like, “You could warm me up,” or “It would be faster if we shared.” But at the same time, I didn’t know if rain drenched sweet kisses warranted showering together.

  I was obviously jumping steps in this relationship.

  Shit.

  Is that what this was? A relationship? Was I ready for that? I wanted to be with Reece. I was done trying to tell myself anything different, hiding what I truly felt. But was I ready to jump straight into a relationship again? Would it be identical to the one I had with Owen, where I was overshadowed and lost? I thought about this the whole time in the shower until I realized I needed to save some hot water for Reece. I quickly turned off the water and got dressed. Taking a towel for my hair, I went back into the living room. Reece silently passed by me as to take his turn.

  Now I wasn’t sure what to do. I really hoped it wouldn’t be awkward for the rest of the night. Jo was the only one at the table when I sat down.

  “Where is everyone?” I asked.

  “Bethany and the boys jumped into the hot tub. I was sitting here waiting for you. What happened on that mountain, June? The June who left is different than the June who came back.”

  “You could tell?” I shifted in my chair as Jolene stared me down.

  “You were all smiley and shit when you came back. I haven’t seen that in a really long time.”

  I fidgeted again in my seat. “We kissed. And we might have kissed the night before we got here. And when I say we kissed that night, I mean I kissed him after yelling at him,” I blurted out in one breath.

  Jo’s sad smile turned into a huge megawatt grin.

  “Oh,” was all she said, super chipper.

  Bitch knew she won.

  I punched her in the arm.

  “Oh? That is all I get! You have been all over my ass about that boy in the shower and all I get is an oh. I expected more, Jo. More gushing and squealing.”

  “Squealing would only piss you off.” True. “I was laying off. While I think you all sho
uld have humped a month ago, I’m letting you set the pace here.”

  “Gee, thanks so much, Jo. I’m glad I can set the pace in my relationship.”

  “So, you’re in a relationship?” Jo asked, tongue in cheek. Bitch.

  I raised my hands in frustration. “Ugh, no, that’s not what I meant! Stop putting words in my mouth, hooker.” We were at our best when we threw insults at each other. It really was a friendship made for life.

  “Who’s calling who a hooker?” I heard a deep voice behind me ask. I turned in my chair to see Reece standing there. Not wearing a shirt. Naturally.

  “Hey,” I said breathlessly, like I was in a fucking 80’s romance movie.

  I internally shook my head at myself. One extremely romantic kiss in a rainstorm and I was already turning in my feminist card. I coughed and said more pronounced, “Hey.”

  “Hey,” Reece replied as he stood there.

  Silence ensued as Jo looked between us. “This is my cue to leave. When you two get done eye fucking each other, come out to the hot tub,” Jo stated before she left the room.

  With that perfect description of the scene in the room I turned back around and grabbed the cup of tea Jo had left, acting like it was mine. I took a drink to find it had a strong kick of brandy in it. Ugh, nope, not tea. I coughed as it went down my throat. I never had understood the appeal of a hot toddy. Reece walked over and slapped my back as I tried to catch my breath.

  “You okay?” he asked with a bit of laughter in his voice.

  “You ask me that a lot,” I finally said as I stopped choking.

  This time I got a full-blown laugh from Reece as he sat next to me. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

  “What now?” No preamble from this girl. I always got right to the point.

  “We could get in the hot tub, or we could start dinner, or we could nap …”

  “No, I meant, what now? Like after ... you know … what happened on the mountain,” I stumbled through.

  He put his hand on my arm and swung his other arm around the chair I was sitting in, leaning into me. “Relax, June, it’s not like we killed a guy and hid the body.”

  “I know that,” I said defensively. “I was just saying …” Hell, I had no idea what I was saying. I sighed and took another drink from Jo’s cup; this time it went down more smoothly.

  Reece ran his hand over my hair and tucked it behind my ear. “Now? Well, now can be whatever you want, June. I’m not going to pressure you into anything. It can just be.”

  “Okay,” was all I said as I shied away from him.

  He moved back into me as soon as I retreated. He lowered his voice and said, “But I will say, there is no need for you to sleep on the couch tonight. Stay in the loft.”

  “With you?” I squeaked. I was acting like I had never had sex with another guy, let alone slept in the same bed as one.

  I saw Reece’s eyes light up as he tried to hide his laughter. “The bed is pretty big … so, yeah with me. If it makes you uncomfortable I’ll sleep on the couch. Really, all I want to do is sleep, nothing else. I promise.”

  Why was Reece so sweet? It wasn’t like I was an inexperienced virgin, but he was being kind and not pressuring me in any way, physical or emotional. And that couch really did suck.

  I gave in. I always did when it dealt with Reece. “Okay.”

  Reece smiled as he got up from his chair, a smug smile knowing he had won. This round. He had won this round. There were more rounds to come, I was sure.

  “I’m going to jump in the hot tub, you want to come?” he asked.

  “No, I think I am going to sit here for a minute. I’ll join you in a few.”

  Reece nodded and kissed the top of my head as he walked outside. I put Jo’s cup in the sink and grabbed a fresh cup of tea, sans alcohol. After throwing a couple more logs onto the fire, I settled into the couch.

  I was nervous. It had been over three years since I had experienced the awkward, and thrilling, first part of a relationship. I hadn’t been with anyone since Owen, and even then, the list of men I had slept with was small. Owen, a drunken one-night stand, and a guy I dated my senior year of high school. I was nervous to go through the whole getting to know you stage. The awkward part of being with someone for the first time, not knowing what to expect. And hell, I was only sleeping next to the guy tonight. I hadn’t decided if I was even going to have sex with him. Though if sex with Reece was anything like the kiss we shared, I was in for a treat.

  I stared into fire, mesmerized by the flames and lost in thought. When I heard a door behind me close and saw the gang come in from the hot tub, I focused again on our time up here, trying not to think too hard about whatever was going to happen after. However, I was failing miserably.

  I was putting the last of the dishes away after a tasty dinner of tacos when everyone was saying good night and heading to their respectable beds. Even though what’s-his-name and Jo had just met, she had no problem sharing a room with him, but here I was freaking the hell out. This was one time of many I wished I had the type of confidence Jolene had because then this wouldn’t be an issue.

  “June, I think the dish is clean.” Reece pulled the plate I had been drying for the last five minutes out of my hand. He leaned over me and put the plate in the cupboard as he took his other hand and gave me a firm kiss on the lips, catching me off guard. Each one of his kisses seemed to have a lasting impact. I didn’t think I could ever forget them.

  “Ready for bed?” he asked like it was no big deal. To him it probably wasn’t a big deal, but I was freaking out. What if I stole all the covers or what if I snored? Owen was a heavy sleeper so I never really knew if I had any bad habits.

  I was sure with Owen. Kind of. I thought I was sure with Owen, but him dumping me had really messed with my confidence level. I wasn’t so sure about the mixed emotions, excitement and fear coursing through me at the moment. A part of me wanted to jump his bones, the other part wanted to throw up. I smiled up at him, a total fake smile. And he knew it, too.

  “I’ll sleep on the couch, June. Really, it’s not a big deal.”

  “No, no, no. I’m fine. I can do this. I got this,” I rambled.

  Reece gave me a frown. “You can do this? Is sleeping next to me in a very large bed really that big of a deal?”

  “I just …” I stopped. I had to say this correctly before I dug this hole even deeper. “I just … I don’t know … nervous I guess?” That was the best answer he was going to get at this point.

  “You should never be nervous around me, June, at least not about that. I think it’s silly for only one person to have that huge bed when there is plenty of room for two.” He rubbed his hands up and down my arms. That simple motion was surprisingly calming. I didn’t say anything, but nodded my head.

  “Go get changed and I will meet you up there.” Reece let me go and headed up the ladder to the loft. I went to my bag and grabbed a pair of purple flannel pajama bottoms and a large, oversized T-shirt from one of the many BSU functions I had attended. Free shirts were an essential part of college.

  I ran into the bathroom and changed into my sleepwear. Taking out my contacts, I put on my red-framed glasses. I brushed my teeth and braided my golden hair into a side braid. This way it would be easier to deal with in the morning. Okay, I was really just taking my sweet time in hopes Reece would already be asleep by the time I got up there. Less awkwardness this way, at least as much as I was capable. I took a deep breath and went into the main room to climb the ladder up into the loft. I had turned off the lights downstairs, so the only light came from the moon shining through the large window that was above the king-sized bed in the middle of the room.

  Once I got to the top, Reece sat up. He wasn’t wearing a shirt again, and the full moon was highlighting his toned chest. My stomach dropped like it was speeding down a high-speed roller coaster.

  “Stop thinking, June. I’m not going to bite.”

  After setting my glasses on the nightstand and sinki
ng into the large bed, I was able to see Reece’s face. The full moon lit up his handsome features. I could see his forest-green eyes, the ones that resembled the view I had taken this morning. I took in his full bottom lip, his slightly crooked nose, and skin still holding onto the last of the summer sun, memorizing each feature as if I would never see him again.

  As Reece lay on his side and looked at me with an intense gaze, he said barely above a whisper, “What are you afraid of, June?”

  “Everything.”

  Reece gave me a small smile. “Let me rephrase that. What are you not afraid of?”

  I pondered the question for a few minutes. My life lately had been surrounded around living a new life I wasn’t familiar with, and honestly, I was scared. Every day it became more complicated, more confusing with Reece and the direction I was trying to find. I guess I never had thought about what did make sense.

  I answered Reece after thinking about what worked in my life. “I’m not afraid of my job. It’s not an ideal situation, but I feel comfortable in it.”

  “What else?” he prodded me. The whole time his hands never left my body. He wasn’t touching me in a way that was anything sexual, but rather small touches on my arms, my hair, all making me feel more prone to open up to him.

  “I’m not afraid of Jo, even though some of her ideas can be scary. I have been following her lead for a while now and I’m still standing.”

  This time there was no smile on Reece’s face, but his eyes spoke volumes; held his emotions like the earth held the water after a rainstorm. “Are you afraid of me?”

  That was the crux of it all. Was I afraid of Reece?

  “I’m scared of what you can become.”

  “What do you want me to become?”